I’m back from my Thailand trip! And in the grand evil scheme of things here’s what materialized. Hope you’re in for a bit of laughs!
Today’s world is a paparazzi, celebrity obsessed culture. Even in Japan, where snapshots as trivial as two stars coincidentally seen on the same spot can be sensationalized as a “scandal” already. Talk about blowing things out of proportion!! Well, rumors are rumors, and sometimes, tabloids can go way out of hand – to the point that a drunk guy who had gulped gallons of martini and vodka in one swig can seem more credible than they are..
But, true or not, rumors are so much fun to read AND laugh at. DISCLAIMER. These things should, and
cannot be taken seriously.
These rumors may have been a thing of the past, but they surely served ample time in the limelight.. Here are the top most outrageous (and often incredulous) rumors that spread like wildfire in the Jpop scene.
Here’s one gossip we all wish were true.
- 20 – Leah Dizon’s alleged early retirement due to stress and leaked nude videos. Well, well. Who knew being a “Leah D.” can be so tiring? Maybe it was dodging indecent proposals and receiving fangirl hate mail that got her nerves all warped up.
Previously she made the pages with her breakdown at the year end Kouhaku concert, where she cried (boohoo) because she forgot the lyrics, which made the stage director take her significant spot onstage and put her in the back (where she belongs). She’s now spotted dating a hotshot producer’s son. Whatever. Next
Guess she knows now that just having a great ass isn’t enough.
- 19 – Random paparazzi shots.
No one can escape the wily eyes of the paps. They are simply everywhere. But sometimes, all you need is a handy cell phone camera to do the trick.
I spy with my eye. The so-called “AKAME”
- 18 – Before, After, Whatever.
It’s funny how some people go through all lengths just to nitpick at stars’ small eye folds. Huge boobs, nose jobs, lip collagen – it doesn’t matter. People just want the dish on who’s fake or not. Newsflash: nobody’s born perfect.
Nino and Tackey.
Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
Maki Horikita. So she grew up into a pretty little swan.. Who knows?
Pi’s little sister Rina
Sorry, Pi will look better in that bikini.
One way to get noticed is to win the genetic pool. This is true for Yamapi’s gravure posing sister. Or not – if your famous brother is prettier than you, you’ll be forever branded as Pi’s sister. Rumor has it that she confessed her feelings to Tegoshi and GOT DUMPED. Tsk. Sucks to be her.
Jin’s younger brother Reiho. Sucks to be branded as party boy slash playboy’s lil brother.
- 16 – All the PARTY PEOPLE wave your hands in the air and say yeahhhh!!
Tip number one. If you’re going to partay, make sure your entourage does not include nosy paps tagging along.
But as they say, the most important parties to R.S.V.P. in are the ones you have to crash in, to get in.
Even until now we are still wondering what the hell did Jin do in LA for half a year.
PARTY RELAPSE. With Shirota Yuu, Kusano Hironori and some white girl. His new philosophy? All work and no play makes Jin one h*rny little boy..
Some critics fussed over Tesshi’s partying ‘til the wee hours of the morning. Geez. It would’ve been MORE questionable if he said he stayed at home on a Friday night claiming to have cleaned his room, tended the garden and cooked for his mummy. Puhleeze. Let the boy get some action.
15 – SOME LIKE IT HOT. While some stars hide all their secrets, some just bare it all out. Literally. Here are the mag covers that got the media talking.
Here’s the skinny on Matsujun’s semi-naked debut in An-An. Question. Why do they ALWAYS have to use foreign models in these shoots? What, like it would seem TOO believable if it weren’t??
When you’re famous, everyone wants a piece of your_____ (you fill in the blanks).
But no cover has ever spawned so much talk than Yamapi – putting the ass in mASSive. Look behind you. Sorry Pi, Okada Junichi did it better. Butt we’re not complaining.
Great timing. It just so happened that his new movie was coming out at that time, with NEWS’ Taiyou no Namida OST to boot. (sorry can’t stop the booty reference, lol)
Ahhh. THE SWEET SOUND OF FANGIRL HEARTS BREAKING. It’s like music to the ears.
14 – It’s THE RING.
It’s amazing how watchful eyes can get TOO sharp when it comes to looking for pieces of evidence.
So-called Jin and Uehara promise rings. Whut. Like rings can’t be used as mere accessories anymore??
Shun Oguri’s ex fling Yaguchi Mari. Who friggin’ cares.
Aya Ueto and Morita Go’s ring pairs. How the hell do stalkerazzis come up with these things anyway??
Pi and Abiru necklace. Coincidence? Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
Fee, fie, fo, fum… I smell the fug of tobacco in the room…
Koyama Keiichiro. SMOKIN’ HOT. Mark my words. If you’re inhaling the death stick, don’t leave your cig butts behind. Paps might be nearby, sniffing around.
NISHIKIDO RYO. Deranged, dumbass fangirl: “Like, eww! Ryo’s like, smoking and like, ew. I HATE HIM!!” Me: *picks up a handful of salt and throw it on her face, watch her disintegrate.*
I mean, guys who smoke DON’T make them a “bad” person. They do, however, have a bad habit.
BUSTED! GOTO MAKI.
Let’s call them X and Y. X dates Y. Y dumps X.
X dates the whole alphabet.
Oh naive little N., if you say you’re going to granma’s house, make sure you don’t leave a trail behind.
NOW THIS IS A SCANDAL. I have a conspiracy theory that estranged ex-girlfriends connive with the media to expose their idol dumpers for revenge. Either that, or they just committed a stupid, stupid mistake ala Edison Chen.
As the song goes (in taunting tone): “Got a secret, can you keep it… better lock it in your pocket take this one to the grave…” Well, the secret’s out of the bed, I mean, bag.
The MORNING AFTER. HIDEAKI TAKIZAWA.
Battle of words. Ai Otsuka TO Kumi: You slutty whore!
Koda Kumi’s backlash: You talentless bitch!
10 – MEAN GIRLS. Masami Nagasawa and Erikasama. Don’t you just love catfights? Rawr.
MASAMI’S NO ANGEL AFTER ALL. Words spread about her bitching to her manager in front of her senpais because the air conditioning was too cold (oh, how diva dahling!), partying the night away and throwing Erika dagger looks at an event.
Akame is dead. Was it ever alive in the beginning?? Deal with it.
9 – Most anticipated comebacks
Ways to revive a fading, cobwebbed career. Go on an exile on the pretext of studying English. Stage a huge comeback. Heard she asked Beyonce to be her “sensei.” *snort* Yes, Maki, we know you’re on Hollywood. But not exactly “in” it.
No. He’s not rejoining NEWS.. He must hate Uchi’s guts for beating him to a comeback. Swallow the bitter pill of truth.
9 – The most awaited comeback is…
Erikasama Sawajiri. Queen Bee dethroned. Rejoice peasants! Rejoice!
She’ll be back. WITH A VENGEANCE.
8 – ON SCREEN CHEMISTRY TO REAL-LIFE CHEMISTRY??
DV Ryo and Nagasawa Masami SPOTTED. Together?
Well, well, well. Either this is just a publicity stunt or Masami badly needs a beating.
Shige and Aya Ueto.
But only in Shige’s dreams.
AIBU SAKI should put up her own website because she got so many “links..” To JE boys, that is – before landing in Nagase’s arms. (Sorry, lame ass joke!)
Hope it wasn’t just a publicity stunt.
We’re friends! ! Really. We. Are.
SHIROTA YUU AND KEIKO KITAGAWA. Doubt it. But they looked real cozy though.
6 – MOST PERFECT COUPLE
Word spread out that good boy SATOSHI TSUMABUKI took SHIBASAKI KOU to his hometown to meet his mummy. Say it with me now, AWWWW!
5 – MOST UNEXPECTED “COUPLES”
Matsujun being rumored with models Eikura Nana, Kitagawa Keiko and Suzuki Emi (the ditzy rich girl in Yukan Club who wore spoonfuls of makeup).. *Yawn.* Kinda disturbing though, Eikura and Jun co-starred in a movie about a brother-sister incestuous love story.
Some semi-reliable sources blurted out that TEPPEI KOIKE AND AYASE HARUKA dated for a while. Seriously? And we all thought Teppei’s hubby was Wentz Eiji.
(or so the paps claim)
5 – SPOTTED. Ohkura and Hiroko from Mihimaru GT together in a coffee shop.. Sharing thoughts on the dangers of caffeine, perhaps? Perhaps not. But unless they’re feeding off each other’s hands and there’s serious groping going on under the table – NOT INTERESTED.
Ohkura, on the other hand is reputed to be a playboy, jumping from one model’s bed to another. Another Jin in the making? Who knew that our little green ranger is green minded after all?? Well, he’s a young man with raging hormones, so sue him.
4 – “Come out,” “come out,” wherever you are… Ryo and this… creepy…old hag.
This suspicious photo has been circulating a whole lot in gossip blogs. But it’s not certain if the guy in question really IS Ryo. Then there’s this explanation that it’s just a joke made by Ryo and a staff member. NO ONE IS LAUGHING.
3 – COUPLE YOU ARE ROOTING FOR: NAKAI MASAHIRO AND KODA KUMI
Deny it all they want, but a picture says a thousand words. Power couple looking smashing, Koda Kumi trimmed down her sleazy come-hither look sans heavy cake makeup, while Nakai trimmed down the mop he calls hair. Are we gonna hear wedding bells soon? Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be.
2 – BREAK UP OF THE CENTURY: KOIZUMI KYOKO AND KAME
So he dated a woman old enough to be his mother. Who cares. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore already did it years ago. She’s now rumored with Nino. Ah, the desire for motherly love? Ugh.
1 -AND THE MOST SCANDALICIOUS GOSSIP THAT HAD PEOPLE TUNED IN:
THE YOU-ME-AGAINST-THE-WORLD SAGA
OF PI AND ABIRU YUU
Bad ass, self-confessed former shoplifter and now gravure idol Abiru meets pure and innocent Pi (or so we would like to believe). Fangirls were seething with anger and possibly foaming in the mouth. The Jimusho was pissed and devised manipulative ways to tear them apart.
They braved the cruel world, as long as they were together, nothing can stop them. All they needed was L-O-V-E. Or some stupid cliche like that.. As long as Pi gives us the goods, doesn’t matter who he sleeps with. He is after all, just like any other testosterone-filled man. He’s no longer a boy.
And yes, Pi DOES HAVE A LIFE.
Pi, Pi, go away, little Abby wants to go out and play. With DA PUMP’S ISSA (rumored to be Shibasaki Kou’s ex, small world) .
What does this girl REALLY look like anyway? !! Every one of her photos look so different from each other dammit! Well… When the cat is away, the mice will scoot around and play.
Abiru is actually quite… PRETTY. You go, girl! Oh the blasphemous will burn in hell!! Seriously. Take away mounds of makeup on her face, she can be prettier than some famous idols out there. See for yourself.
But wait! THERE’S MORE! Before you clink your celebratory wine glasses, Pi is now rumored to be dating a gyaru girl. SAY WHUT.
NO. YaMaki will never happen.
Sigh. I was really rooting for Pi-Abi tandem and even waved pom-poms for Abi. Just so we can see how far they can go to spite the Jimusho. Ho well.
Don’t worry Pi. If you’re in need of a nurse for your ailing heart or a one night only no-strings-attached rebound, we’re here for you. All 9878655616562381834 of us.
*waiting patiently for scorned ex-girlfriend scandalous pictures to come out*
We’ve all heard it before.
Fame’s a bitch.
Bad publicity is still publicity.
Celebs are public figures, after all.
But paps and tabs should give them breathing space at least. Give them some privacy even for just a bit!
They are humans, capable of making mistakes too. (*insert melancholic violin instrumental sound*)
Oh, Gossip. Live it. Learn it. LOVE IT.
Photos/ information NOT MINE.
Credits/ sources/ BIG THANKS to:
Myfirstgossipblog.blogspot (please visit this site, it’s really cool and you can see the effort in their entries)
Uwasako @ LJ (the real gossip girl. Full of win.)
Cho Scandalous Espanol (yay finally some use to all those Spanish courses I took)
Japanese Yahoo! blogs, googled pics
Jpop Trash (French)
Bubka magazine, a very unreliable one at that